Annie: Help for parents worried about teen TikTok use

An advice column published Oct. 28 addressed a mother's concern about her 14-year-old daughter's TikTok habits. The writer, signing as "Terrified by TikTok," said she initially thought the app held mostly dancing, makeup tutorials and funny videos. She later heard about dangerous challenges, extreme dieting advice, risky stunts and videos that push kids to try things they would not otherwise consider.

The mother said her daughter trusts what TikTok creators say about what is healthy, safe or popular. When the mother questions it, her daughter rolls her eyes and says her mother does not understand her generation. The writer said she does not want to ban everything and push her daughter to hide things, but she feels she is competing with strangers who have more influence over her child.

The column's response, addressed to "Dear Terrified," suggested asking the daughter to show what she watches and discussing it together. It advised teaching her to question who created a video and what that creator is selling or discussing. The response said eye-rolling at 14 is normal and does not mean she is not listening.

The column said parents can set screen time limits and make certain rules nonnegotiable when safety is involved. Keeping phones out of bedrooms overnight and using the app's built-in privacy and parental controls were suggested starting points. The response drew a line between caution and control: rules a child knows about, understands and can discuss are caution, while secret monitoring and unexplained bans breed sneaking around. Telling her the why matters as much as the rule itself.

The column also advised watching for changes in eating, mood or behavior and said to involve a pediatrician or counselor if something seems off. The stated goal is to help a daughter develop good judgment so that a parent's voice is still present when they are not beside her.