Etiquette expert urges concertgoer to stop blaming venue for personal brawl

Miss Manners, the long-running etiquette column, has told a reader to examine his own behavior after he claimed a concert venue forced him into a physical fight with another patron.

The reader attended a performance with his wife and noted that they paid double the price of general admission for their seats. Midway through the show, staff asked people standing behind them to move into empty seats in the amphitheater. The reader said a drunk man and woman then stood directly in front of him, blocking his view. He complained to staff, who ignored his requests. He eventually stood up, pushed the man, and the man threw a drink at him.

The reader blamed the venue for the chaos. He noted that the location sold beer and liquor but provided no food. He argued that this combination encouraged inappropriate inebriation and bad behavior among the crowd.

Miss Manners responded by asking what the specific question was, implying that the reader had described the situation but not clearly stated his dilemma. She acknowledged that bad behavior was rampant at the event. However, she stated that the venue did not condone or enable the specific actions of pushing, drink-throwing, or showing one's rear to the stage.

The column advised the reader to look inward for his contribution to the fight. The response distinguished between the venue's operational choices and the individual actions of the patrons involved in the altercation.

In a second letter, a reader asked how to handle meeting people named Margaret, given that she legally changed her name from Margaret to Maggie. She described feeling awkward when others mentioned their own Margarets and wondered if her smile implied a dislike of the name.

Miss Manners advised that the reader should not reveal her history of changing her name. She suggested a simple response, such as noting that the names are similar. The column stated that offering explanations or family history is unnecessary and can be insulting to people who choose to keep the name Margaret.